Hopes for the future
Tonight's blog isn't really thing life shattering or spiritually profound, it's just something that has been on my mind and heart all day.
There is something powerful when you have a life partner that allows you to do the things you love and fill your soul. I am so thankful that Luke Diamond always....always lets me 'run away' when I need it most. He never discourages my crazy sabbath ideas (even when they leave you stranded on your anniversary with your mother-n-law in a beautiful city). He knows that I need time away. He knows that I am a better wife, mother, pastor, friend and self when I have time to sit and be, travel at my own pace in places that fill my being.
This trip has been one that people questioned from the beginning. People would say to me, really, you're going alone? Many have wondered why I would come to the Holy Lands alone. Some have asked if I was scared to be doing it alone. Several have commented that they would never take a trip like this alone because of fear. In the midst of the each of these quiet worries, concern and fear I would respond with a confident yes, I am going alone. Then as to justify my traveling alone I would add 'I have a friend who is from there and I am meeting another friend from Britain who is now teaching there'.
There have been moments when late at night as the mind wanders around in the crevasses of the darkness my fear would slip in. I wondered if I should be making the trip. My mind would play tricks on my and conjure up strange situations that I might find myself in. Then in the break of dawn and the light of day those fears would slide away. They would dissipate into thin air, leaving my heart and mind clear of the purpose of coming. I wanted to walk the streets of Jerusalem alone. I wanted to be in this land that I love so much and gain a deeper understanding of the people that reside here today and how that might have been the same with those living in the time of Jesus. I wanted to sit in the places without having to look at a clock. I wanted to ask the questions that I wanted to ask of Jesus.
Today I navigated the tram system (which is so user friendly and so very nice) and made my way to the Machane Yehuda Market. The market is one of the local markets. It is filled with striking colors and fragrances from every fresh fruit you can imagine.
Deep, dark red cherries
Plump, fuzzy peaches
Perfectly round watermelons
Small, pale green cucumbers
Then there's the dried fruit
White strips of coconut
Orange mango
Red strawberries
Tiny squares of different varieties of dried fruit mixed together
There were olives from light green to think dark green almost black.
Bread
Golden, round loaves of bread
Warm pita bread
Delicate pastries filled with chocolate or fruit and topped with powered sugar
Savory breads filled with melted cheese inside
Spices.....more spices that I could ever imagine.
It was literally wall to wall people (it's a Jewish Holiday this weekend and everyone had their hand written list gathering all the supplies needed for the celebration). Every ounce of space within the market was filled with people whom spoke a language that I did not know. Their skin tone a bit creamier than mine. Unlike the Old City where all things are in three languages, this market is local so there aren't any signs written in English, only a few street signs. As I walked the market I had a local guide map in my hand and I quickly had to assimilate the letters (remembering to look from right to left not left to right) to understand the correlations between the information in my guide and the stalls themselves {for the first time in my life I really, really wanted to know Hebrew and wished that I had been made to take it in seminary, but I was making it}. I loved every fragrant, every color, every tasting that I had in the market today.
On the way home today I had thought of Emma.
Yes in the midst of all of this I thought of Emma.
I began to think about all the people who had tried to discourage me from coming on this trip. I thought about all the back handed comments about the type of people who live here. I thought about the ways that I had to ask for assistance today and I began praying that somewhere in the midst of being entrusted with this role of being a mom that Emma could see that I was leading a life in which God has designed and called me to participate in. The I was giving her the example that she didn't have to let fear overtake her in difficult situations. Today I was praying that as a mom, I'm giving my sweet daughter the example of a woman of faith that isn't afraid to push the world away and do something bold in her own faith.
It's not really about me but I thought, I sure hope Emma sees her mom as someone willing to take chances and live a life of adventure. I want her to grow into a woman of God who isn't afraid to go against the flow to follow who God is designing her to be.
Today wasn't a pivotal spiritual day but it was a day of wanting to follow Jesus in such a way that it impacts who my daughter so that believes she can be all that she wants to be.
There is something powerful when you have a life partner that allows you to do the things you love and fill your soul. I am so thankful that Luke Diamond always....always lets me 'run away' when I need it most. He never discourages my crazy sabbath ideas (even when they leave you stranded on your anniversary with your mother-n-law in a beautiful city). He knows that I need time away. He knows that I am a better wife, mother, pastor, friend and self when I have time to sit and be, travel at my own pace in places that fill my being.
This trip has been one that people questioned from the beginning. People would say to me, really, you're going alone? Many have wondered why I would come to the Holy Lands alone. Some have asked if I was scared to be doing it alone. Several have commented that they would never take a trip like this alone because of fear. In the midst of the each of these quiet worries, concern and fear I would respond with a confident yes, I am going alone. Then as to justify my traveling alone I would add 'I have a friend who is from there and I am meeting another friend from Britain who is now teaching there'.
There have been moments when late at night as the mind wanders around in the crevasses of the darkness my fear would slip in. I wondered if I should be making the trip. My mind would play tricks on my and conjure up strange situations that I might find myself in. Then in the break of dawn and the light of day those fears would slide away. They would dissipate into thin air, leaving my heart and mind clear of the purpose of coming. I wanted to walk the streets of Jerusalem alone. I wanted to be in this land that I love so much and gain a deeper understanding of the people that reside here today and how that might have been the same with those living in the time of Jesus. I wanted to sit in the places without having to look at a clock. I wanted to ask the questions that I wanted to ask of Jesus.
Today I navigated the tram system (which is so user friendly and so very nice) and made my way to the Machane Yehuda Market. The market is one of the local markets. It is filled with striking colors and fragrances from every fresh fruit you can imagine.
Deep, dark red cherries
Plump, fuzzy peaches
Perfectly round watermelons
Small, pale green cucumbers
Then there's the dried fruit
White strips of coconut
Orange mango
Red strawberries
Tiny squares of different varieties of dried fruit mixed together
There were olives from light green to think dark green almost black.
Bread
Golden, round loaves of bread
Warm pita bread
Delicate pastries filled with chocolate or fruit and topped with powered sugar
Savory breads filled with melted cheese inside
Spices.....more spices that I could ever imagine.
It was literally wall to wall people (it's a Jewish Holiday this weekend and everyone had their hand written list gathering all the supplies needed for the celebration). Every ounce of space within the market was filled with people whom spoke a language that I did not know. Their skin tone a bit creamier than mine. Unlike the Old City where all things are in three languages, this market is local so there aren't any signs written in English, only a few street signs. As I walked the market I had a local guide map in my hand and I quickly had to assimilate the letters (remembering to look from right to left not left to right) to understand the correlations between the information in my guide and the stalls themselves {for the first time in my life I really, really wanted to know Hebrew and wished that I had been made to take it in seminary, but I was making it}. I loved every fragrant, every color, every tasting that I had in the market today.
On the way home today I had thought of Emma.
Yes in the midst of all of this I thought of Emma.
I began to think about all the people who had tried to discourage me from coming on this trip. I thought about all the back handed comments about the type of people who live here. I thought about the ways that I had to ask for assistance today and I began praying that somewhere in the midst of being entrusted with this role of being a mom that Emma could see that I was leading a life in which God has designed and called me to participate in. The I was giving her the example that she didn't have to let fear overtake her in difficult situations. Today I was praying that as a mom, I'm giving my sweet daughter the example of a woman of faith that isn't afraid to push the world away and do something bold in her own faith.
It's not really about me but I thought, I sure hope Emma sees her mom as someone willing to take chances and live a life of adventure. I want her to grow into a woman of God who isn't afraid to go against the flow to follow who God is designing her to be.
Today wasn't a pivotal spiritual day but it was a day of wanting to follow Jesus in such a way that it impacts who my daughter so that believes she can be all that she wants to be.
LOVE this post for so many reasons!
ReplyDeleteI traveled alone to Morocco several years ago to meet up with others. I was in Rabat for 2 weeks working at the children’s hospital with cancer patients. Rabat isn’t a tourist destination. It’s Morocco’s capital. When I walked the streets alone there were no tourists. I was never frightened.
Friends and family were hysterical (not ha-ha hysterical) that I traveled to North Africa just as the seams of any modicum of peace unraveled. And I was going to a M-u-s-l-i-m country where they were sure I’d be murdered.
Then my friends and family started reading my daily journals brimming with joy and wonderment - and began a pool to bet whether or not I’d convert. Oy.
Amanda, you’ve heard me speak of this – why I loved my journey so much and why I planned to return alone to live in Fez for a month or so. The faith of the people I observed created an unexpected response to my own heart, yearnings. My Christian faith became ever more stronger by the witness of the Muslim faith. It’s so hard to explain, but you, I so surely know, understand.
You also know that I planned to visit Israel, but my health derailed those plans, too. I weep as I type these words. Sure, a few tears rise with regret, but most bubble for gratitude and the feeling as though I walk beside you during this journey.
I never gave it a second thought that you were making this journey alone.
I love your heart, the way you think. The honest passion is palpable.