A Way Forward...it is a bit long
It's been 381 days.
381 days since we left the comfort and safety of McCallum Place Eating Disorder Center in St. Louis, Mo.
381 days that have included tears while we made difficult decisions, exchanging the beauty of the mountain for the glamour of the city, moments of setbacks, building and rebuilding a new kind of trust, walking a path in which we couldn't see around the corner. The days have included laughter and a newfound sense of community and fellowship, being reconnected to a place that held memories but now holds the comfort of welcome every day. Over the 381 days, events that seemed like they were a mere glint on the calendar have become a reality and with each movement, we have been reminded that pruning is always painful and yet always necessary in order for us to grow into who we are and what we are being called to do.
Today we are mere 11 days from an event that seemed so far away 381 days ago. In 11 days my beloved Wesleyan tradition will host almost a thousand delegates from around the globe in the very city of St. Louis that provided a sense of comfort and security for 8 weeks of our lives. For well over 381 days our denomination has been preparing, discussing and trying to discern a way forward in the midst of language that says that homosexuality is incompatible with the Christian lifestyle, and while all persons are baptized as beautiful, holy created beings, persons who are openly gay are unable to fulfill their call and design into the life of ordained ministry. While we claim to welcome persons with open hearts, open minds, and open hearts and shepherd them in the most tender moments of life we as clergy must stand on the sidelines as persons within our communities of faith ask us to celebrate their weddings. For over 381 days we have wrestled and in 11 days delegates must discern a way forward.
For as long as I have carried the REV in front of my name and I have proclaimed that if my child were to come to me and asked me to perform a same-sex marriage for her and her partner that I would most definitely put her before my career as a UMC pastor. Somewhere in the past 381, what was once a proclamation has become a reality as our brave and courageous teenager shared with us her heart's desire and design. She has shared openly with those with whom she trust who God has created her to be. She has withstood name calling and heartache because of all that she is. She is herself, navigating life in a tradition where who is, is being talked about in ways that are harmful to many to overcome. She loves this tradition in which she has been birthed into and yet knows that in 11 days people will be talking about her. People will be talking about a difficult way forward in light of us being a global church that holds the tension of having places in the world where being gay can leave you murdered or in jail. She is not an unknown, she is not incompatible and yet in 11 days, she (along with more than we can count) will become nameless as we have depersonalized the conversation into an issue instead of persons of created worth.
In another 381 days, we would have come through the conversation, we will be finding a new way forward. each of us will have an abundance of choices for which we will be responsible for making. In the days before us, we must choose if we are going to see all persons as sacred and holy worth, as beautiful human beings that have been created and designed by God; each with their own calling, their own desire for a relationship with their Creator and a place in this world or as half beings who are deemed unworthy and must conform to the patterns of this world in order to have their place within our churches. Will we choose to love and embrace over these 11 days and beyond or will we continue to choose to say that people for whom God has breathed God's very breath into are incompatible? The choice is ours...what will your next 381 days hold, love or condemnation?
* this post has been written and shared with the approval of Emma. Emma is not ashamed of who she is, who God has created her to be. If this post means that you want to build a wall and slowly push us out of your lives, then know that we respect and love you. We know and trust a God creates all persons as wholly and dearly loved beings. If your child is wrestling with who they are and you need someone to ask questions to please feel free to reach out. We are all walking with our own understandings and feelings but you are welcome here.
381 days since we left the comfort and safety of McCallum Place Eating Disorder Center in St. Louis, Mo.
381 days that have included tears while we made difficult decisions, exchanging the beauty of the mountain for the glamour of the city, moments of setbacks, building and rebuilding a new kind of trust, walking a path in which we couldn't see around the corner. The days have included laughter and a newfound sense of community and fellowship, being reconnected to a place that held memories but now holds the comfort of welcome every day. Over the 381 days, events that seemed like they were a mere glint on the calendar have become a reality and with each movement, we have been reminded that pruning is always painful and yet always necessary in order for us to grow into who we are and what we are being called to do.
Today we are mere 11 days from an event that seemed so far away 381 days ago. In 11 days my beloved Wesleyan tradition will host almost a thousand delegates from around the globe in the very city of St. Louis that provided a sense of comfort and security for 8 weeks of our lives. For well over 381 days our denomination has been preparing, discussing and trying to discern a way forward in the midst of language that says that homosexuality is incompatible with the Christian lifestyle, and while all persons are baptized as beautiful, holy created beings, persons who are openly gay are unable to fulfill their call and design into the life of ordained ministry. While we claim to welcome persons with open hearts, open minds, and open hearts and shepherd them in the most tender moments of life we as clergy must stand on the sidelines as persons within our communities of faith ask us to celebrate their weddings. For over 381 days we have wrestled and in 11 days delegates must discern a way forward.
For as long as I have carried the REV in front of my name and I have proclaimed that if my child were to come to me and asked me to perform a same-sex marriage for her and her partner that I would most definitely put her before my career as a UMC pastor. Somewhere in the past 381, what was once a proclamation has become a reality as our brave and courageous teenager shared with us her heart's desire and design. She has shared openly with those with whom she trust who God has created her to be. She has withstood name calling and heartache because of all that she is. She is herself, navigating life in a tradition where who is, is being talked about in ways that are harmful to many to overcome. She loves this tradition in which she has been birthed into and yet knows that in 11 days people will be talking about her. People will be talking about a difficult way forward in light of us being a global church that holds the tension of having places in the world where being gay can leave you murdered or in jail. She is not an unknown, she is not incompatible and yet in 11 days, she (along with more than we can count) will become nameless as we have depersonalized the conversation into an issue instead of persons of created worth.
In another 381 days, we would have come through the conversation, we will be finding a new way forward. each of us will have an abundance of choices for which we will be responsible for making. In the days before us, we must choose if we are going to see all persons as sacred and holy worth, as beautiful human beings that have been created and designed by God; each with their own calling, their own desire for a relationship with their Creator and a place in this world or as half beings who are deemed unworthy and must conform to the patterns of this world in order to have their place within our churches. Will we choose to love and embrace over these 11 days and beyond or will we continue to choose to say that people for whom God has breathed God's very breath into are incompatible? The choice is ours...what will your next 381 days hold, love or condemnation?
* this post has been written and shared with the approval of Emma. Emma is not ashamed of who she is, who God has created her to be. If this post means that you want to build a wall and slowly push us out of your lives, then know that we respect and love you. We know and trust a God creates all persons as wholly and dearly loved beings. If your child is wrestling with who they are and you need someone to ask questions to please feel free to reach out. We are all walking with our own understandings and feelings but you are welcome here.
We love you Emma and stand with you and others who face a real struggle in their lives. As our Church family moves toward their decision we have made our decision as a family to love all that God has created. We are all his children. May God bless you all. Debbie and Ron
ReplyDeleteBeautifully said. Know that you all are loved by the P-Os.
ReplyDeleteI love you guys! Beautifully written Amanda, hope to see you guys soon!
ReplyDeleteAll my days with all my love to Emma always.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing this, Amanda. It is such a shame that there are those in the church that claim to love everyone except those with whom they claim make a lifestyle choice. Emma has always been and continues to be an amazing and inspiring young woman, and I am proud of her for being open about her sexuality.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful
ReplyDeleteEmma is the fabulous, fun, kind, sweet young woman I knew first as a little girl. I will now add brave to the list of adjectives. She is Emma. It matters not to me who she chooses to love. I just know I love her.
ReplyDeleteWe love you guys! Although for different reasons, we know the heartache of separation of family and friends because of silly disagreements. It’s not worth it and in the end they are the ones that lose out.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that Emma has the love and support of her parents. Prayers that she finds peace and happiness.
How appropriate that as I read this, I see in my FB memories that 8 years ago today, Emma and I went to see Tangled in 3D, because I had no child to go to the movies with, and I wanted to see it badly (and so did Emma). We had so much fun, and the memory that gives me the most joy is remembering Emma's voice belting out Bruno Mars from the back seat of my car with all the gusto that is within her. It is THAT gusto that I fell in love with and that I love today. She is strong, brave, hilarious, and a true and loyal friend and I will love her til the day I die. I am so happy she is here in Nashville, and especially at East End UMC where we celebrate everyone in their sexual createdness - we do not just 'love' them or 'tolerate' them or 'accept' them, we affirm and celebrate them, and love them, yes, but without conditions being put on who they are.
ReplyDeleteShe is a very, very lucky girl to have you and Luke as parents, and I hope she knows how many of us stand with her as she grows in faith and light and love.
A beautiful post. The world is so hard to navigate as an adult, but being a teenager trying to maneuver their way dealing with themselves, their emotions, their choices, their free will, and becoming comfortable in this world that is constantly wanting to berate young people Emma is amazing! I need to bring Emily over she reminds me a lot of Emma! They both are strong independent young ladies pacing a way for their future. Plus, I would get to visit too! Dual purpose! We will be praying for your St Luis meeting. We hope your family is well too. If you guys need anything let us know! S. Petty. Love you guys!
ReplyDeleteAll my love to Emma. Love to Mother and Dad for their support
ReplyDeleteP-Pop