Buttercups in Bloom

Decisions were made. Betrayal came. Insults were hurled. Humiliation took place. Loneliness rose. Yesterday as the people called United Methodist made decisions they emulated decisions that the chief priest and elders made so long ago. The strongest voice was one that had been looking for a way to persecute.  A small group sought to silence the very one with whom they feared. This voice sought to silence the one/s that have always been willing to heal others that had been cast outside the city gates. They sought to humiliate and question the one/s that noticed the unnoticeable in the tree, the one/s willing to call the unnoticeable down out of their isolation to share a meal around the table. A contingency of leaders sought to question the one/s who have freely walked into the world touching those that others cast away.  Decisions seemed to be made long before our leaders gathered in St.Louis.   As the insults were hurled, as the questions reigned down and as

Anger Grief Loss for words More anger As the sun rose this morning  I found myself wondering if we could undo what took place yesterday afternoon in St. Louis as delegates from our denomination gathered.  In the midst of the darkness,  I  lie awake praying that light would come and today we would witness Jesus standing outside the grave and calling Lazarus forth; proclaiming a new beginning.   I thought about Nicodemus coming to Jesus in the middle of the night wanting a new life; a new beginning and hoping beyond hope that Jesus would throw his arms around him and tell him that his past didn't matter.  I thought about the way Jesus transformed lives, performed miraculous deeds and loved those who everyone else pushed to the side. This morning is difficult. I feel sick. I am struggling. The sun is now up, the reality that in less than 12 hours humans from around the world would have declared who they say the people of Methodist are.  It all feels so surreal as if we a

"Jesus wept" Let that sink in for a second. The words are some of the purest words that express the depth in which Jesus feels for those he loves.  Twice in scriptures, we see the intimacy of love that Jesus has for his beloved people.  We experience the tenderness of tears as Jesus approaches Lazarus's death bed.  His love toward Lazarus is so deep that even the Jews see the outpouring of love and proclaim "see how much he loved him!"  We step into the depth of emotions as Jesus enters Jerusalem for the final time.  Amidst the shouts of hosannas, we see that Jesus's spirit is broken. In both instances, Jesus opening weeps for his people. The first time for an individual and the 2nd for a community as a collective body.  Today I have sat, listening and watching with intensity as my brothers and sisters in faith bore the weight of carrying a cross that was beyond heavy and comes with consequences felt around the world.  This morning I was hopeful as the

It's been 381 days. 381 days since we left the comfort and safety of McCallum Place Eating Disorder Center in St. Louis, Mo. 381 days that have included tears while we made difficult decisions, exchanging the beauty of the mountain for the glamour of the city, moments of setbacks,  building and rebuilding a new kind of trust, walking a path in which we couldn't see around the corner.  The days have included laughter and a newfound sense of community and fellowship, being reconnected to a place that held memories but now holds the comfort of welcome every day.  Over the 381 days, events that seemed like they were a mere glint on the calendar have become a reality and with each movement, we have been reminded that pruning is always painful and yet always necessary in order for us to grow into who we are and what we are being called to do. Today we are mere 11 days from an event that seemed so far away 381 days ago.  In 11 days my beloved Wesleyan tradition will host almost