The Fence
Today I have been sitting on the fence between being happy for others and the things that God has brought into their lives and sulking at what I have not been able to obtain; or what I haven't been given.
It's a weird place to be.
I want to be happy for my friends.
Happy that they have succeeded.
Happy that all things have gone well for them.
Glad that the words that they needed came and just the right time.
And yet if I am honest, deep down I am jealous and a bit hurt.
Yes, jealous that the pieces of their puzzle seems to fall into place.
Sad, that I am angry that they get to celebrate such a goodness of a day.
Hating myself that I want the recognition from others.
As I sit here today, pride has been welling up within me.
Pride is always a funny thing.....
Pride always makes us want something more or different than what we have. It makes us question the very thing that is before us. It tears us away from the strengths that we bring to the table and that God has designed deep within us. It makes us wonder why we are not chosen and why we have not received the accolades that we so deeply crave. Pride makes us think that it is all about who we are instead of who we serve.
The harsh reality is that if we lean into pride we will miss the journey that has been created for us before we were even born. If we lean into thinking that the grass is greener on the other side then we will miss the opportunity to love and be loved by those who are surrounding us in the here and now. The harsh reality is that we may perceive ourselves as average here on earth but in the next world we will soar with the very One who created each and everything thing with vibrant, stunning colors.
The fence of letting others soar while you desire that for yourself is hard to balance.
In the end, I think I will chose goodness and celebration both for myself and my friends.
What about you? Are you sitting on the fence today; are you comparing yourself to others? Are you wondering why it never works out for you and yet seems to always work out for someone else? Are you wondering why everyone else gets the recognition?
Or do you want to lean into the joy and celebration of those that are surrounding you today? Do you want to experience the presence of knowing that you have your own strengths and they do not have to be compared to another? Are you willing to soar with the Creator today and all the tomorrows to come?
I choose to get off the fence and stand in the celebration...in the celebration of all that I am and all that is before me...in the celebration for a job well done for my friends....and give thanks that God has breathed his breath into me and that is what is important.
It's a weird place to be.
I want to be happy for my friends.
Happy that they have succeeded.
Happy that all things have gone well for them.
Glad that the words that they needed came and just the right time.
And yet if I am honest, deep down I am jealous and a bit hurt.
Yes, jealous that the pieces of their puzzle seems to fall into place.
Sad, that I am angry that they get to celebrate such a goodness of a day.
Hating myself that I want the recognition from others.
As I sit here today, pride has been welling up within me.
Pride is always a funny thing.....
Pride always makes us want something more or different than what we have. It makes us question the very thing that is before us. It tears us away from the strengths that we bring to the table and that God has designed deep within us. It makes us wonder why we are not chosen and why we have not received the accolades that we so deeply crave. Pride makes us think that it is all about who we are instead of who we serve.
The harsh reality is that if we lean into pride we will miss the journey that has been created for us before we were even born. If we lean into thinking that the grass is greener on the other side then we will miss the opportunity to love and be loved by those who are surrounding us in the here and now. The harsh reality is that we may perceive ourselves as average here on earth but in the next world we will soar with the very One who created each and everything thing with vibrant, stunning colors.
The fence of letting others soar while you desire that for yourself is hard to balance.
In the end, I think I will chose goodness and celebration both for myself and my friends.
What about you? Are you sitting on the fence today; are you comparing yourself to others? Are you wondering why it never works out for you and yet seems to always work out for someone else? Are you wondering why everyone else gets the recognition?
Or do you want to lean into the joy and celebration of those that are surrounding you today? Do you want to experience the presence of knowing that you have your own strengths and they do not have to be compared to another? Are you willing to soar with the Creator today and all the tomorrows to come?
I choose to get off the fence and stand in the celebration...in the celebration of all that I am and all that is before me...in the celebration for a job well done for my friends....and give thanks that God has breathed his breath into me and that is what is important.
Standing on the side of celebration doesn't mean that every day shines brightly... but many, many years ago I chose to let loose forever any covetousness in my life. This choice has been life-changing and one to bring much celebration for myself and all others. Wonderful post, Amanda. I miss you so very much but feel connected with you through these thoughts.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully thought out and beautifully written.
ReplyDelete