Appreciation

Green becomes reds and yellows

Fullness turns baren

Emptiness occurs

Buds grow

Green returns

We have entered the season in which we are reminded that our cycles of life involve the transformation of vibrant greens to muted colors of yellow or red that catch the sun's rays just right and begin to sparkle.  This season of transformation gives a different kind of breath, it is one that whispers to us; it is ok to let go, to be different than you were yesterday or last year.  These whispers gently seep into our souls and we find ourselves asking deeper questions about our purpose and existence.  As we watch trees that are full of life become bare we notice more acutely the ways in which our own lives are bare.  

This life of shepherding, being the prophetic voice, casting a vision, and pouring into the lives of others hoping that God will not just equip but empower us and those within our families of faith to become people who are co-creators, driven by hospitality to all and are willing to lavish God's children with a party that drips in love and joy has become increasingly more difficult to navigate.  In the past 4 years, I have had my share of hurt, trauma as well as toxicity from those who proclaimed a life of faith, leaders of faith who ensured that they protected their own image while destroying mine as well as my own sense of worth.  These encounters broke me in ways that are beyond description.  In that season I stood as a barren tree in an empty field, wondering if someone would care for me, noticing that my arms were tired of trying to hold up so many unseen things. The isolation gripped my very care and created within me a narrative that I was alone and that I wasn't enough.

That season of barrenness and emptiness wasn't that long along.  The trauma that held me hostage, and left me broken thankfully was not the only thing that was growing inside of me.  There was a mustard seed of resurrection and redemption that was watered by those closest to me who believed in me, appreciated me, and valued me not because of some metric that I was meeting but simply because I was a child of God.  They nurtured me, sang a new song in my soul, and carried me when I didn't think I could keep walking.  Leading when your soul is empty is treacherous and I am thankful to have made it to the other side where buds of hope and restoration are growing within me. I am beyond grateful for the generosity,  for the ways that I am valued, and for the appreciation that is poured upon me for just being me. While I am in a community that values, acknowledges, and loves so many of my colleagues are not and it is disheartening to watch and listen as they stand in the fields like empty trees with their hands raised to the skies.  

 

All communities of faith are in a season of transition.  Communities of faith that were once full of life and people (numbers to brag about on a report and to colleagues) are experiencing a decline (I like to say pruning).  Our spiritual leaders, shepherds, priests, and prophets are children of God who are experiencing their own life struggles, questioning their own purpose, and longing for God to grow something new within them.  Leaders of faith do not merely stand up once a week to make you feel good about yourselves or tell you what you want to hear.  So many are standing in an empty field, empty from trying to meet the growing demands of sustaining a failing building, moving people from one model of faith that is contained to a building to the reality that God is outside the walls walking alongside persons in the most difficult of situations and trying to raise funds to keep their salaries in place and ministries moving forward.  

Spiritual leaders have watched the leaves turn to muted colors and feel the emptiness of being the one that people turn to when failure happens and death in a church occurs.  If you are a person of faith, someone connected to a community when was the last time that you valued your leader of faith as an individual?  When was the last time that you showed them gratitude, not for something huge they did or a sermon they preached?  When was the last time that you looked at your pastor as a child of God, who carries unseen and unspoken weight because they care for you (and a ton of others from whom you cannot see)?  When was the last time that you acknowledged that your community of faith is in a transition and as your leader, they are mourning the loss of what was?  Neither our spiritual lives nor our emotional lives are centered around your appreciation of us but your recognization of that which was once full of life and is now barren along with your willingness to plant a new bud of life makes a profound impact on building the kingdom here on earth.  

Appreciate people....value people, so that buds of new life and green growth can come shining through.