Unexpected endings and pathways

The 8 1/2 x 11 entitled Senior Dates had been taken off the refrigerator. 

There had been no Surf's Up Day.  

 

Prom had slipped through their fingers.

Senior Skit Day would never be considered.

Having the privilege of wearing and showing off their College Swag on their special day never made it out of their closets.

Making their way through the overcrowded hallway hearing the cheers of their peers, high-fiving their favorite underclassman, hugging their favorite teachers, shedding tears of joy, walking away with their blue oxfords filled with signatures never took place.

It was graduation weekend and a ceremony wasn't on the horizon.  Our senior's cap and gown sat in a closet.  

Within a day, the immediate family had been invited for an outside masked graduation ceremony. A few close friends were given the zoom link.  Pictures from Kindergarten through the Senior year were printed and encased the screened-in back porch under the glow of the fairy lights.  Balloons were hung, programs and awards were designed and printed.  

365 days ago we gathered on our back porch, graduation pictures complete in cap and gown in the back yard with toilet-paper, mask, hand sanitizer, disinfected wipes, and our dog took place.  Pomp and circumstance played while everyone stood for the graduate to enter.  A speech was made, an award was presented and a 'diploma' was conferred.  At that moment tears fell from our graduate's eyes.  She tried to brush them away but the reality this milestone would not be or contain all that she had dreamed came trickling out.  

The long-awaited 12 day trip to Peurto Rico faded away as if it was only a dream spoken of. 

Summer came and college supplies were gathered.

Move-in day arrived.

Restrictions upon restrictions to keep everyone healthy and safe created a canyon that seemed too difficult to cross.  Meals that were to be shared in the university cafeteria never came to fruition as grab-and-go offerings became the standard.  New friendships failed to take root as guidelines kept students from entering one another's dorm rooms.  Campus worship and all large communal activities were cancelled.

Lingering in and after classes was discouraged. 

 

Isolation sat in. 

The end of the semester came.  In silence and without any fanfare boxes were filled and our young adult returned home.

Our young adult experienced not just one unexpected ending but three (a tornado that left her community of faith displaced and led to the reassignment of her mom to a new congregation for which she would not be connected, Covid stripping her of milestones of graduation, acccompained with the realization that her freshamn year of college was ending becuase this simply wasn't the season to be attending a small liberal arts university).  The unexpected endings most definitely gave way to tears shed in the silence and secrecy, the deep grief of dreams that were never given the wings to fly, moments of feeling like a failure and questioning her very purpose.

But in the midst of those unexpected endings, a new pathway has been forged.  A pathway of newfound confidence in a job that is grounded in purpose every day.  The unexpected endings have unfolded the new pathway of independent living in an apartment where needs and wants are balanced against the monthly budget sheet.  Unexpected endings have led to deeper respect and relationships with those in the inner circle of life.

All of us have unexpected endings.  Endings that bring about isolation, make us question our own purpose, sense of worth, and place in this ever moving forward culture.  Unexpected ending where we have riden the roller coaster of grief, while keeping it  hidden from the rest of the world for fear that someone will judge us for not getting over it.  Unexpected endings leave us off-balance, out of sorts, and realizing who our truest most authentic friends are.  

Unexpected endings inevitability leads us to a different unexpected path.  Pathways that are not defined by the expectations of the world but pathways that lead to health and wholeness.  Pathways that lead us to our true selves and show us love deeper than we can imagine. Pathways that are most definitely filled with one step forward and two steps back while showing us the strength and courage of being who we are.  

Have you experienced an unexpected ending?  Hang on dear one, it might take 365 days (or more) to find your new pathway.  The Israelites wandered in the desert for years after their unexpected ending and in every step along there was the One that was going before them in a cloud by day and fire by night.  There was the One that heard their complaints,  took their grief and anger yet provided their daily bread.  A new pathway is coming your way.  Keep walking for you are not alone.