Murky Waters
Anger
Grief
Loss for words
More anger
As the sun rose this morning I found myself wondering if we could undo what took place yesterday afternoon in St. Louis as delegates from our denomination gathered. In the midst of the darkness, I lie awake praying that light would come and today we would witness Jesus standing outside the grave and calling Lazarus forth; proclaiming a new beginning. I thought about Nicodemus coming to Jesus in the middle of the night wanting a new life; a new beginning and hoping beyond hope that Jesus would throw his arms around him and tell him that his past didn't matter. I thought about the way Jesus transformed lives, performed miraculous deeds and loved those who everyone else pushed to the side.
This morning is difficult.
I feel sick.
I am struggling.
The sun is now up, the reality that in less than 12 hours humans from around the world would have declared who they say the people of Methodist are. It all feels so surreal as if we are trapped in some sort of black hole that we cannot escape.
Yet, as have waded through the roller coaster of emotions again this morning, I keep thinking about one of the first movements we see and experience from Jesus in our scriptures. It begins with John the Baptist asking people to change their hearts and their lives for there is one coming to bring the Kingdom of heaven. He echos the prophecy of old, "prepare the way for the Lord." John finds himself at the Jordan River with people who have come with the anticipation that a new way is before them. They long for something different; a different way of being. In the midst of persons stepping into the water to experience a sense of a new life rising for them, Jesus is there.
Jesus doesn't stand on the water's edge. Jesus doesn't demand anything from anyone. Jesus merely steps into the murky waters of the Jordan.
He joins the people in their longing.
He stands with the individuals who have been silenced.
He lets the current of their uncertainty, move around him.
He stands in the pain that each of has experienced.
He holds their hands acknowledging their presence and worth in this world.
He enters the murky waters not because he has to but because he wants to.
Today, the murky waters of anger, frustration, isolation, damnation are flowing swiftly. These waters threaten to take away our peace that comes from a God that loves us not because of what rules we deem holy, what statements we follow, what pronouns we use, what gender we love but because we are wholly and dearly created beings. Jesus is not standing on the sidelines, Jesus has entered the murky waters with us.
*{The waters are murky. The delegates are not some group of faceless, random individuals. Our delegation from TN and Memphis are persons with whom I know and love. They are faithful leaders within our church. They span the theological spectrum. They love deeply. They are not standing on the sidelines, they too enter the murky waters of life and desire for our church to proclaim love over hatred. I'm in awe of the weight that they have carried these past several years and all the endured on our behalf as a delegation. Their task has not been easy. I appreciate the ways they have sought a new way for our church.}
Grief
Loss for words
More anger
As the sun rose this morning I found myself wondering if we could undo what took place yesterday afternoon in St. Louis as delegates from our denomination gathered. In the midst of the darkness, I lie awake praying that light would come and today we would witness Jesus standing outside the grave and calling Lazarus forth; proclaiming a new beginning. I thought about Nicodemus coming to Jesus in the middle of the night wanting a new life; a new beginning and hoping beyond hope that Jesus would throw his arms around him and tell him that his past didn't matter. I thought about the way Jesus transformed lives, performed miraculous deeds and loved those who everyone else pushed to the side.
This morning is difficult.
I feel sick.
I am struggling.
The sun is now up, the reality that in less than 12 hours humans from around the world would have declared who they say the people of Methodist are. It all feels so surreal as if we are trapped in some sort of black hole that we cannot escape.
Yet, as have waded through the roller coaster of emotions again this morning, I keep thinking about one of the first movements we see and experience from Jesus in our scriptures. It begins with John the Baptist asking people to change their hearts and their lives for there is one coming to bring the Kingdom of heaven. He echos the prophecy of old, "prepare the way for the Lord." John finds himself at the Jordan River with people who have come with the anticipation that a new way is before them. They long for something different; a different way of being. In the midst of persons stepping into the water to experience a sense of a new life rising for them, Jesus is there.
Jesus doesn't stand on the water's edge. Jesus doesn't demand anything from anyone. Jesus merely steps into the murky waters of the Jordan.
He joins the people in their longing.
He stands with the individuals who have been silenced.
He lets the current of their uncertainty, move around him.
He stands in the pain that each of has experienced.
He holds their hands acknowledging their presence and worth in this world.
He enters the murky waters not because he has to but because he wants to.
Today, the murky waters of anger, frustration, isolation, damnation are flowing swiftly. These waters threaten to take away our peace that comes from a God that loves us not because of what rules we deem holy, what statements we follow, what pronouns we use, what gender we love but because we are wholly and dearly created beings. Jesus is not standing on the sidelines, Jesus has entered the murky waters with us.
*{The waters are murky. The delegates are not some group of faceless, random individuals. Our delegation from TN and Memphis are persons with whom I know and love. They are faithful leaders within our church. They span the theological spectrum. They love deeply. They are not standing on the sidelines, they too enter the murky waters of life and desire for our church to proclaim love over hatred. I'm in awe of the weight that they have carried these past several years and all the endured on our behalf as a delegation. Their task has not been easy. I appreciate the ways they have sought a new way for our church.}
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