A Simple Question

It started with a simple question in 2022.

It was a question that was born out of trust with a foundation built on love.

We waited for almost 8 months before beginning the design. As the design meetings unfolded they always came back around to one important request.  Tweaks were made along the way and 6 months later the plans were laid forth.

By 2024 we stood with anticipation as the several weeks of financing and signing the paperwork took place....itching for our dreams to become a reality.

The day arrived like a slow moving cloud and the landscape in the backyard began to change. 

By the summer our cars were moved out of the garage, the washer and dryer were moved inside our dining area, a concrete pad formed in a place that was once green space in our backyard and a hallway was erected from our garage out to the new space.   

We laughed a lot about the final summer cook outs at P-Pop's watching Alone, recognizing that the next summer he'd be with us.

Slower summer days gave way to the reality that in a few short months P-Pop would be living with us. One Friday night dinner brought tears to the young adult when I mentioned that when P-Pop lived with us I wouldn't be doing this Friday night thing every Friday night because we had our own friends....then the ugly old fat man chimed in with 'they go off hiking every Saturday anyway and leave me alone.'  Without knowing it Friday nights were a staple and considered a sacred time. 

U-haul boxes were ordered.  A dumpster (he made clear more than once that we didn't need) was delivered and filled to the brim within the week. Boxes were packed and labeled. A shed was built to hold all of the yard tools. A grief welled up within him as he let go of the things with the recognition that his life was evolving.   

Every Friday night dinner, every phone call asking for tech assistance, every disagreement, every doctors appointment brought us closer to the day he'd come to live with us. The thankfulness grew, the love swelled and the longevity of life spread before us. 

In November he spent a few days in the hospital and we were all thankful that the days were coming and he'd soon be with us.

The movers were hired.

A last minute snag in the floor brought the owners out to the property to sand the entire space on their hands and knees.

December 11th arrived and P-Pop's permanent address was finally with us at Circle's End.

Finally Friday night dinners were an every night presence at 5:45pm ready for conversation and a meal.  A new rhythm was found and goodness flowed.

Building a new garden box was priority as the winter gave way to spring.  The planks of wood purchased and the beginnings of the box lay on his deck.

Friday night was concluded with great dinner and thank you, hon.  

Saturday morning family photos were made and by Sunday (5 months to the day of his arrival) it was clear that he was sick but it true Gary fashion refused to go to the ER until Monday night at 10:30pm.

A beautiful last breath was taken on May 18,2025.

Without notice all the planning....all the dreaming....all the hope of what was to be felt as if it had been extinguished. 

Without notice the question that began it all seemed to be scattered among the ashes of life. 

Without notice we have spent more time moving forward without him in the space he created than we had him living here with us.

Through a crazy, heartbreaking chain of events the space has been a temporary landing space for E.  Dinners around the table, sitting on the bench he made of my grandfather's work space are still being held. Laughter has slowly returned. 

2025 was not what we expected.  

2025 has led us to ask the simple question of what brings us peace and what must we do to preserve it.

2025 has shown us a love deeper and richer than we deserve. 

2025 has broken our hearts, left our bodies weary and yet has provided us with people who have tended to our wounds and poured strength into our souls.

What starts as a simple question is the foundation of love that leads to the everyday unfolding.  May the simple questions scatter goodness, assurance and hope that new beginnings rise from what takes leaves us breathless and broken.